Day 23 TBI Challenge for CHANGE for Veterans
24th Mar 2011 | Posted in: PTSD, TBI, Traumatic Brain Injury, Veterans 0

Day 23 Forgiveness; of others, of self

  Remember!!  The 31 Day TBI Challenge for CHANGE during March, Brain Injury Awareness Month, consists of just two parts:

 1.)    Please learn something new about TBI every day.  We will be posting an article daily on our Facebook and website pages to make it easy for you to learn. Today’s article is below.

 2.)    Help facilitate CHANGE by partnering with The Arms Forces by assisting us in continuing our efforts for invisibly wounded veterans by collecting your CHANGE daily and at the end of March donating the money to The Arms Forces. (contact information below) Create a jar and label it:

“The Arms Forces CHANGE for TBI” and put it out where you and others will see it.  When someone asks you what it is all about, share with them a bit about what you have learned about TBI.  Share stories of the people you will learn about through our posts on Facebook and how their lives have been forever changed by their injuries.

If collecting change every day is not your thing then be a part of the CHANGE by making a donation to The Arms Forces through our website or by mailing a check to the address below.

Day 23 Forgiveness; of others, of self

We all know we should, we all have a hard time with it, we all have a different definition about what it means….FORGIVENESS. We may have a spirituality that guides how we feel about forgiveness.  I have heard some people say they can forgive this or that, but when it comes to THIS, no way, no forgiveness.  One struggle that many have is to forgive what could be the most important person in the world to forgive, OURSELVES.  We all do things that make us want to kick ourselves in the behind and we are hard on ourselves. We date the wrong person, or marry the wrong person, or we eat the whole pizza or we use language we know we shouldn’t.  Others of us have done things that might make it even more difficult for us to find it within our   to forgive ourselves. 

Maybe we have done something that broke someones heart, or we berated someone with our anger, or maybe we did something that landed us in jail.   There comes a point in life if you want to make changes that will set your course in a more positive direction, we have to offer ourselves forgiveness. Good  mental health depends on it!

When you have a traumatic brain injury, there are mistakes made that are truly out of your control.  It is important to learn  what you can control, what you can change and what you have to adapt to.   TBI survivors, many times are very hard on themselves.  When there is progress in their rehabilitation, the survivor may be upset with themselves for not  making more progress.  They may have anger issues and feel deep guilt over things they say or do.  Sure, they should have some guilt, that is a healthy reaction, but too much and hanging onto the guilt for too long, is not healthy.  Read the 14 statements below and how they relate to you in your life.  If you are a TBI survivor, I am encouraging you as your TBI Sister, to please look at the areas of your life that you are feeling guilty about and  begin the process of forgiving yourself.  If you are a civilian, please contact your local Brain Injury Association and ask them where to find a support group that you can attend that might help you with this process. If you are a military veteran, please call The Arms Forces and we will offer you assitance and guidance. 

Who do you need to forgive?  Yourself?  Time to relaease the negative, grab ahold of the positive and change your life!!!

    1) I hold a grudge against myself for negative things I have done.

     2)Learning from bad things I have done helps me get over them.

    3) It is really hard for me to accept myself once I have messed up.

     4) I don’t stop criticizing myself for things I have felt, thought, said or done.

    5)  I continue punishing a person that I think has done something wrong.


     6) With time, I am understanding of others for the mistakes they have made.

     7)  I continue to be hard on others who have hurt me.

     8) Although others have hurt me in the past, I have been able to see them as good people.

      9)  If others mistreat me, I continue to think badly of them.

      10) When someone disappoints me, I can generally move past it.

      11) When things go wrong with things that can’t be controlled, I get stuck in negative thoughts about it.

       12) If I am disappointed by circumstances in my life, I continue to think negatively about them.

       13) I eventually make peace with bad situations in my life.

      14)  It’s really hard for me to accept negative situations that aren’t anybody’s fault.

 With open arms,

Pam Hays

Founder/President and severe TBI survivor

The Arms Forces

PO Box 981

Maumee, OH  43537

419-491-1555 –email

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